so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
