dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
