Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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