if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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