The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
