We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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