Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
3pm strippers are depressing
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
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