Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize