he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
MIDGETS
????
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
