I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
