Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
