She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
