You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
