I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize