How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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