He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
