I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
