just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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