apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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