Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
