My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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