I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
