We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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