im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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