I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
