I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
