dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
