I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
