last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
