I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
