hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
