Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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