I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
