It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i will never coherently bang her
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
