Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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