Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
