Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
