The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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