I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I AM VODKA MAN
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
