Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize