You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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