apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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