Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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