How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
