Taylor Swift is so right about you.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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