She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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