he puts the penis in happiness.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
