I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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