I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
