is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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