normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
