Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
