Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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