You just made me feel so damn special
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
