Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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