No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
