I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
this is an emotional support booty call
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
