If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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