Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
