Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
