reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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