i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
