I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
